


Frosted Eyelashes and Broken Ribs (And Maybe the Lack of Heart Inside of It)

by peterparkerscurls



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arc Reactor Issues, Civil War Fix-It, Fix-It, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Protective Pepper Potts, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-10-02 00:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17254298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterparkerscurls/pseuds/peterparkerscurls
Summary: With that final crack, he knew it was over.His life or his relationship, he didn't know.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so sorry this took so long! i entered writer's block super hard, and then when i had the motivation to continue writing, i had lots of other projects that needed to be finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!

In hindsight, he knew what was going to happen when all was said and done. 

In hindsight, he knew Steve would probably leave him. Tony knew that Steve wouldn’t stop for Barnes. He knew his value to Steve: especially when it came to Barnes. “Bucky” was the holy grail, and he was just another path along the quest there, including their relationship. 

“Stand down: final warning.” He can’t take this anymore, he’s tired, he’s so damn tired of being inferior to Barnes. The man that killed his mom was still Steve’s great importance, all things considered? No, no. He was NEVER Steve’s priority. _Remember that, remember that._

And then the bastard rises with shaky legs and trembling hands, reaches up to defend himself. As if Tony was being a villain, as if Tony was evil, as if Tony was going to kill him. _As if._

“I could do this all day,” Steve proclaims, and he can hear Barnes move behind him. He goes to strike Steve down, before Barnes can get any closer

-and he loses his footing, and Steve flips him onto his aching back. The first punch to his face is a dull feeling, but it goes deep to his core (or maybe that’s his anxiety). The next one hits harder, and he feels his nose crack with Steve’s fury. _No more,_ he pleaded with himself. 

_The day they first kissed was like a nightmare. They were bone-tired, the team took a big hit, and they all had to camp out in an abandoned cabin, deep in some far-off forest. Snow topped each pine tree, and it was no help the Avengers had no shelter. All for some Hydra base, he remembered the way Steve had grumbled about it._  
Steve demanded they all stay warm, hence how he ended up on a tiny cot next to Steve. The cot in which Steve slept shirtless in. He could practically feel the warmth coming off Steve’s broad chest now, as he lays on Siberian snow.  
“This isn’t so bad, being cuddled up to a super-soldier,” he remembered teasing. Steve’s half-asleep response was to just pull him closer. He turned to huddle closer- it’s not like Cap cares or anything.  
And when Steve woke him up in the middle of the night after he had a nightmare, he just wanted to kiss Steve. He never was sensible when he was half-asleep. So he did. 

The next strike is with the shield. The shield was sharp, and Tony knows the armor won’t last too much longer before going offline. His head starts to fill with fuzz, and he wonders if Steve hates him now. He thinks he might deserve it, he can’t even remember how he probably started this fight. 

A few more hits are thrown onto his faceplate, and he hates the way his blood is oozing down his face. He’s used to the feeling, from a lifetime of fighting. The way his bruises feel like they’ll never disappear. 

_He hated when Steve would gush about Howard. His father, the man who made him grow up sooner than any child should._  
“Tony?” Steve had pressed gently. He must have stopped bobbing his head along with whatever Steve had said. “Is something wrong?” Steve was too close to home, literally. He didn’t want to tell Steve, not yet. Steve would side with Howard surely, he knew how much Howard mattered to Steve’s era.  
“Howard beat me,” He blurted out, he couldn’t stop the words from falling out. He moved back before Steve could react, before he could get angry.  
“Tony, I had no clue, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’m sorry, Tony, I hope you can forgive me,” Steve had apologized, but why? He didn’t understand.  
“For what?”  
“I kept talking about the bastard like he was good. I had no clue he was- Tony, you can talk to me if you need to, anytime.” Steve had reached for his hand and carefully rubbed his calloused thumb across his knuckles. 

The next four hits are targeted dangerously so; his reactor starts to crackle violently. He’s paralyzed with fear, with pain, with morbid peace. This is the end. 

With that final crack, he knows it’s over.  
His life or his relationship, he doesn’t know. 

_“You can’t behave for five damn minutes, can you, Stark?” He knew the tone well, he knew Steve was beyond pissed. He wasn’t used to it being used on him._  
“Likewise, Cap! You treat us like dolls, you can’t make us do ANYTHING. Has it occurred to your enhanced brain that maybe we’re people too? That you aren’t the center of the fucking universe?” his voice dipped on “enhanced”, and Steve’s brow furrowed.  
“Tony, you really are an asshole. You are a narcissist, you’re a complete dick. Just like the media said. I should have stayed away from somebody like you.”  
His heart felt a little heavier when Steve walked away. 

Steve watches his reactor flick dimmer and leaves with Barnes. He sees the way Steve’s arm drifts over to help steady Barnes, the way he murmurs carefully. The way they’re closer.

He falls away thinking of this.


	2. Chapter 2

He wakes up in the Iron Patriot’s arms, and he instantly feels the rush of cold air against him, which only serves to add to his shuddering gasps. _It hurts, it hurts, it hurts._

“Tones, relax, it’s me. You’re gonna be okay soon, the compound isn’t far,” Rhodey’s voice chides down to him, slightly altered by the suit’s faceplate. 

He manages to release a small whimper, and the force of his reactor pressing in on him pushes him back to semi-unconsciousness. He can still hear the whoosh of wind, he can still feel how heavy his chest feels, and he can still feel every single open wound on his chest. _Let it stop._

It all stops. 

He knows he isn’t conscious, but he can still feel the numb tingling in his fingers from all the pain medication, he can hear every machine around him; but all he sees is Steve. 

 

_Steve standing over him, the cold ice biting at the exposed skin on his face, Steve holding the shield up-_

 

He jolts up in the rickety bed, startling the nurse- who is speaking to Rhodey. Rhodey isn’t fazed, he probably was watching him this whole time. He recoils under Rhodey’s strong gaze. Rhodey looks away to face the nurse again, and she finishes saying something hushed and sobering to him. Rhodey looks concerned, angered, and exhausted all at once. 

As soon as the nurse does leave, which takes an extremely long two minutes, Rhodey turns towards him. He forces his eyes down, _he isn’t worth any of this why is he here why-_

All Rhodey does, is put his hand over his own, a quiet reassurance. They both know they can’t talk, he can’t even sit up- or breathe like a normal human. His breath comes out in tiny, delicate rasps. 

He stares off into space, and they sit like this for however long it takes for the next person to walk in. Pepper. Even she doesn’t speak, she just sits on the other side of him and takes his other hand. A few nurses bustle in every-so-often. He can’t be bothered to look at any of them. 

Not even an hour later, he’s back in his dreams. Visions of Steve and Barnes walking away from him, _the crime scene_ , arm around Barnes. Visions of his mom’s final moments, of Barnes being defended by Steve. _Steve was never his, and he will always be known as Steve’s second choice._

 

“Tony? Tones, you have another visitor,” Rhodey wakes him up easily, and he lets his guard down enough to let Rhodey shake his hand a little. His eyes scramble up to the end of the bed, where Sam stands. 

 

Sam holds up a paper with a large “Sokovia Accords” stamp on it, and a tiny scribbled signature sits on the bottom of the paper. Sam sits down in the last chair in the room. 

He looks at the bedside table, and takes in all of the flowers and cards on it, _why are those here he didn’t deserve any of this, he should be dead-_

“Natasha and Clint are coming home,” Sam says, voice low and gentle. _Home._

_Bzzt, bzzt. A package is waiting for him on his desk, unknown to anyone in the compound- him included._

_**Steve Rogers:** Tony are you okay  
delivered at 9:46 PM_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt bad about being on hiatus for so long, so 2 chapters today! enjoy!!

“Pepper, what if I told you being in the workshop makes me feel better? Then could I go?” He’s desperate to get building. He’s been in this hospital bed for days, nothing to tinker with, nothing to keep him busy. Just this somber hospital and some stupid anxiety. 

Pepper looks over at him, obviously not amused by his silly rouse, “Tony, the doctors say you’re lucky to even be alive right now. You think we’re letting you leave the bed this soon?” He sighs and glances back down at the fading bruises on his hands. 

He really needs to get back to work, what if someone needs something or- _they all left anyways, does it matter what they need._

 

The door swings open, and he’s so used to the doctors coming in; he doesn’t care to look up. 

“Missed me?” Clint stands at the left side of his bed now, holding the most ridiculous teddy bear on the planet. 

“You wish, birdbrain.” 

Clint gives a small smile, glad to see him getting back to his snarky ways. Clint sets the bear on the overpacked table and pulls up an empty chair. Rhodey is always in the room, Pepper can’t visit often, and Sam? He has no clue. 

 

Natasha steps in silently a moment later, dropping down into the remaining chair. She gives a wordless acknowledgement to him, she’s already figured out that he isn’t as chatty as he used to be. 

 

They all sit in semi-comfortable silence; Natasha reading, Clint messing with the TV remote, and he returns to using a tiny tablet Pepper gave him the other day. He can work on some stuff now, at least. 

 

The TV finally clicks on after some hassling from Clint, and a news reporter pops up on the tiny screen.   
“Rogue Avengers now missing- Is Captain America a murderer? Tony Stark remains missing after a fall-out over the Sokovia Accords-” 

 

Clint changes the channel without a word, knuckles white around the remote, _why is he mad please don’t be mad-_

He can’t stop thinking about his final days with Steve. Before the Accords. Steve still acted like he loved him, _they were going to go on vacation and were still planning-_

 

Pepper runs into the room, red in the face and shaking all at once. She slams the door, _please don’t be mad_ , and locks it. She flicks the lights off and draws the curtains shut frantically, _what’s happening he’s so scared-_

 

Pepper gestures for everyone to be silent, and Clint turns the TV off. Someone is in the hallway, they’re large, and the footsteps are growing closer and louder.

 

“Where the hell is he? Is he hurt? What the hell happened?” _That’s-_

_Oh no, this is bad, he’s in danger, he’s back to finish the job, he’s going to find him and get him, he can’t breathe this hurts so bad-_

 

Rhodey crouches down next to him, _he doesn’t deserve him_ , and he shakily looks towards Rhodey. Rhodey is talking, _he feels far away_ , Rhodey needs him to breathe in right now- 

 

He sucks in a shaky breath, body trembling, and holds it in. _Remember, remember-_ He exhales. He repeats this. 

 

The hallway is silent, oh no please no, and the silhouette is right outside the door. HE knows where he is,  
 _he’s scared he can’t do this again-_

 

“I know Tony is in there. Could you at least tell me if he’s okay?” Steve’s voice stutters on the “okay”, and his stutters too. 

 

He tries so hard, he manages to muster up enough anger and fear and _everything_ to say, “Come back some other day.” His own stammering and anxiety makes him feel pathetic, and his eyes drop back down to his lap, _and he really can’t do this anymore it hurts so bad to keep going-_

 

Pepper looks as if she’s going to yell, _please don’t_ , and she leaves the moment the silhouette is gone. He can hear her yelling at someone. 

 

Rhodey takes his hand again and tells him it’ll be okay. _It doesn’t feel like it will be though._


	4. Chapter 4

He’d been out of his hospital bed for over a week now and spent most of his conscious hours working on braces for Rhodey, as well as amending the accords. Or mentoring a newfound team member, Spiderman (who’s caused many more gray hairs).

Today, he plans to finally speak to Steve about all of this. Tell him about the accords, how the government has pardoned him and Barnes, and possibly discuss the issues between the two of them.

As in he plans to face his already-happened breakup. Which he can barely admit to himself most days. _He’ll never be held by Steve again, never kiss him again, never._

 

He might as well work a little before the official breakup happens. 

 

When he got to Steve’s room, he didn’t expect to feel as calm as he did, which is a nice change of pace when it comes to Steve. He knocks gently on the door, _please don’t answer_ , and waits.

 

Steve opens the door, and he swears he sees the seven stages of grief on Steve’s face all at once. _Is he really that terrible to talk to?_

“Stark, I really wasn’t expecting you,” Steve’s voice is stiff with discomfort, body towering above him with rigid posture. Steve steps away from the door, awkwardly letting him into the room. _Please no more fighting, he’s so scared of it._

Stepping into Steve’s room brings back a few memories; mostly of when they were still together and happy. He manages to sit on down on a sofa and puts his shaky hands in his lap. Steve sits down in the matching chair across from him. _The only thing between Steve and him is a coffee table and a collection of dirty mugs. The door is to his left, only a couple feet away-_

 

“Why are you here? As far as I know, we didn’t leave off on good terms,” Steve’s firm voice breaks the silence, turning his face red. _Good terms? That’s all Steve can say?_

 

“Just came to bring you and Barnes some news. Pardoned, just like that. You will still have to sign the Accords at some point or retire.” He feels his hands shake more, and instead of coming off nonchalant and cool, his voice pathetically wavers. 

 

The tension still courses through the room, Steve looks unimpressed, _annoyed even_. Steve takes in a deep breath, a poor attempt at gaining composure. 

 

“Are you so blind to others’ issues, that the only thing you can bring up is work? Is this some way of trying to make peace? Because it isn’t working, Stark.” Steve’s eyes bore holes into him, and he forces his eyes down into his lap. _Please don’t get worse, please don’t._

Steve lets out a heavy sigh before continuing, “You’re even going as far to think you’re the only one being bothered by this. You wound half of us up in jail, blew Bucky’s arm off, and then attacked me. You started most of this, but YOU think you’re the only one bothered by this.” 

 

“That’s not true, you always assume that you know exactly what I’m feeling and get mad at me for what YOU think. I’m so fucking tired of it, Steve!” He can hear his voice getting louder, _and holy shit he’s going to piss off Steve and then they’ll fight and-_

Steve jolts out of his chair, and he feels his body press itself against the couch, but _he can’t even comprehend his fear as his own. Please no._

 

“You’re tired of me? Do you know how much of your attitude I put up with? I’m sick of you. I’m sick of how you think you’re entitled to everything under the damn sun. I regret running off, but being here almost makes me wish I stayed away from you,” Steve’s voice gets louder and sharper, and his whole body shakes. 

 

Blank. His mind goes blank, _besides how scared he is and how Steve is going to get him again and how this is it and he never deserved the relationship in the first place and he should have been left in the snow-_

“Tony? Tony, it’s just me, it’s just me, we’re in the compound. You’re safe, you’re not in danger.” Steve advances towards him, but he launches out of his chair and tries to back up on shaking legs. He falls flat on his ass, and Steve stops walking. 

Steve stops walking. Instead he kneels down and sits on the ground, away from him. _He can’t look up at him, he’ll get mad or leave forever or so much more._

 

“Tony, you have to breathe, take a deep breath, let it out,” Steve’s voice is soft and low, and he tries his best to breathe so he can leave. _So he can stop bothering Steve and causing problems._

 

Five minutes later, and Steve breaks the silence. “I can understand if you plan to break-up with me. I didn’t tell you what happened to your parents, and I haven’t been kind recently. I’m sorry.” 

 

“You didn’t already leave me for Barnes then,” The words fall out of his mouth like his jaw is broken. More tears pour down his cheeks. 

 

“Tony, no, of course not! Why would you think that? Is this what the problem was?” Steve’s eyes are wide with disbelief. He lifts his head to look at Steve, _please don’t let this end badly._

“The problem is when you smashed my chest in and left me in Siberia to die,” His eyes drop back down to his knees. Steve looks away too this time, looking alarmed and concerned. 

 

“I- Tony, what did I do to you?” Steve scoots a little closer, and he doesn’t move away this time. 

 

“You slammed the shield into the thing that powered my suit- and served as my heart.” The room is quiet, save for a few sniffles. They aren’t his though. 

 

“Tony, I understand entirely if you want to leave me-” He cuts Steve off, “Please don’t leave me, Steve, I-” 

 

Steve takes his hand in his own, and they stay like that for awhile. _Please let this end well._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this long wait! I've been busy with stuff outside of writing, as well as hitting a writer's block. Thank you all for being so patient with me through this all! Sorry for the short, 2012-esque final chapter. I think a little cheesiness is needed before Endgame! <3

Steve, _as happy as he was to have back in his life_ , was a massive pain in the ass. Especially when it came to breakfast.   
He insisted that the coffee is served first, but Steve thinks that the food was the first step. “Steve, can you pass the coffee pot?” Steve sends an offhand glance directed his way but slides the already-chilled pot over to him anyways. _God bless America._  
Clint and Natasha are mid-breakfast debate, as Steve started it just by coming downstairs, and he’d do just about anything to make the debate stop. _And to get a cup of hot coffee, not this cold shit._   
The poor new _intern_ , Peter, is still half-asleep and looks as if he’s going to fall asleep on the stack of pancakes in front of him.   
Bruce was enjoying a cup of tea while listening to Thor’s rant, and he was so glad Bruce was back. He missed him. Thor sat next to him, insisting that his Asgardian food _(which he made himself at 4AM and woke the whole team up with)_ was far superior to any Earth breakfast.   
_He was so glad his family came back._


End file.
